Over the weekend I received an email from the library that said, “Hey, there are still study carrel’s available y’all!”

This was contrary to the story from orientation – “Oh, study carrels are in high demand and are awarded to students on journals and moot courts first. There are only a few, if any, available to first years. Go study on the first floor of the library like the homeless people.” [emphasis mine]

So I went to the library website at Dunnhouse this weekend to sign up for a carrel. Heck, why not?

I click the link in the email, enter my university username and password and receive a message: “ERROR you do not have sufficient rights to view this page. Library Intranet only, dumbass.” [emphasis mine, again.]

Then I remembered that our laptops came with a nifty VPN client – not that I actually know what a VPN client is – I just assumed that it would help me log into the intranet…

…and I’m pretty sure that’s what it does. I’m not really sure though because I launched the VPN client and well,

VPN: “Connecting…connecting… connecting… oh wait, no I’m not connecting… retry?”

VPN: “Connecting…connecting… hah, your ass is just going to have to the law school huh? Thou art the weakest link. Goodbye.”

Fine.

So yesterday, when I got to school, I got on the intranet and finally pulled up the carrel application. The cool thing about the application was that I could request a carrel location.

Me: “THIRD FLOOR NEAR THE BATHROOM!!! That would totally rock. K, thx.”

Around noon, I was sitting in room 25, which is my school’s big-honking-lecture room... You know, the one that fits all sections of the class with only a few people standing awkwardly along the edges…

We had Westlaw training. No one else was in the room, but I was 25 minutes early…and it was lunch so…

I check my email. I have a message from the library: “SUPER AWESOME-TIME ALERT: YOU RECEIVED A CARREL! PICK UP YOUR KEY NOW!”

Just then, ding ding ding, one of my housemates walks into the 25 room and graciously agrees to watch my stuff.

So I skip to the library and pick up my study carrel key. The excitement is palpable. El Yay. One of these much coveted (hah) carrels is mine! And my little envelope tells me it’s on the third floor! Gasp! Did I actually get my request?

Pfft. And how…
The carrel was on the third floor. And it was by the bathroom….

The problem was that it was that one carrel, by itself, awkwardly close to the bathroom. Like 7 feet from the bathroom door close…like poo-draft close.

I wanted a carrel near the bathroom…not in it.

This carrel, in addition to being close enough to hear people wipe, was right under the industrial AC vent. Drafts and smells!

When I approached my carrel I saw that here was an upperclassman sitting at it. She told me that it was her carrel last year.

Me: “Isn’t this REALLY close to the bathroom?”
Upperclassman: “Yeah! It was great! I was all up in everyone’s business!”

Erm…Yeah, no. That’s not going to work.

So I went back to the circulation desk with that classic 1L awkwardness,

Me: “Um, hi, I just got this carrel, and it’s great and all but, um…I was wondering, um… can I get another one? Specifically one in row 3414-3417?”

The librarian told me to come into her office. ACK.

Behind the desk at the library?! Gasp. I thought I was going to get chastised along the lines of, “BE GRATEFUL THAT WE CONDESCENDED TO GIVE YOU ANYTHING!”

But no. The librarian sits down, pulls out a chart, and says, “It’s great that you have a number so we can see more specifically what’s open!”

After the wave of relief passed I said, “Yeah, the other carrel is, um…right under the AC vent!”

Librarian: “Oh my, yeah. I understand. That’s not good at all! Actually one of the numbers you mentioned is open! Here’s your new key!”

Holleration!

I couldn’t visit my new carrel because it was 12:25 by now and Westlaw had started. I run back to the 25 room, expecting to be awkwardly-late-dude…

And I get there…and hah, it was just my two housemates sitting together near my stuff.

Housemate #1: “Yeah, so apparently Westlaw was canceled this week.”

Oops. And apprently we were the only ones not to get that memo. At least I got a carrel!