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September 2010
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Dennis Jansen

June 13th, 2010

My mother does not have a mullet.

This is why I love being facebook friends with my mother:

mullet fail

Horrified that she was mistaken for “grimy mullet lady at bar”, my mother then posted a picture of herself on my wall to show that she does not, in fact, have a mullet:

Roswitha White

May 26th, 2010

Work, dating, discretion.

I need a FAQ page on this blog. I usually respond to questions via twitter, but my new readers keep asking the same question: “Why don’t you write more about dating or work?”

My answer: discretion. This blog is fun, but not sloppy.

Contrary to popular belief, there is a filter here…well, sort of. One trick I learned as a resident assistant in undergrad is that clean living is the simplest way to avoid projecting dirt, so I try not to do anything that I would have a problem with broadcasting on the world wide inter-web.1

That means that there is less to filter, which my life easier, because filter refills are expensive…

I also like my job, and want to stay at my company after graduation, so I wouldn’t compromise that for a push in the google rankings or a few extra comments.

What I love about working for my company is that it is a collaborative atmosphere, so the daily annoyances that make Bitter Lawyer and Namby Pamby so interesting are not part of my world. I go to work, interact with hilarious co-workers, and do my job.

Sure, there are some shocking cases…but I just don’t have to deal with any craziness beyond battling for parking near the building.

The point is that I don’t write about work because I am professional and there is not a lot to write about.

Dating is another story. I blame that mess on facebook.

Googling and facebook-friending a potential date is essential due diligence. Trust me. Someone can seem completely innocent and charming but then google reveals a video of them doing ungodly things with their dog2 or other deal-breaking craziness.

I need to know about the CooCooCaChoo in advance! So I screen…

The problem with this due diligence is that now a pack of my facebook “friends” are trolling for dates.

Also, to compound the awkwardness, facebook’s “friend suggestion” feature has turned facebook into the newest dating site:

facebook dating
That’s how I met Judd.  Facebook said we had a ton of friends in common, so I just hit “add” without thinking about it. Judd then messaged me, “Hi, you’re cute. We should go on a date!” I agreed to go on the date, we clicked, became boyfriends, …and then he moved to New York. Hm.

But Judd, like all of my other ex-boyfriends is still my facebook friend and we still keep in contact. So anything that the new “friend suggestion” guys write on my wall is visible to him, my other Exes, past dates, potential dates, and mom. Sigh.

But that is a minor drawback because the benefits of screening guys on facebook outweigh the awkwardness by far. If the suggestion-friends are completely lewd then I unadd them, but that rarely happens because the vast majority of these guys still fall into the same three categories:

  1. Bedingfields: Over-enthusiastic, “Hi! Nice to meet you. I love your eyes! We should totally get married. What’s your name again? ”
  2. E-Ballers: Fills up my facebook and text inbox, but acts completely bored when we hang out. Am I talking to your secretary online?
  3. Fair-Weathers: Completely enraptured in-person but takes a week to respond to a facebook or text message. Might need to borrow the E-Baller’s secretary.

(Note how none of the categories involves crass.)

I went on a lot of dates in the past few weeks, and some were pretty outrageous. But because my dates are aware of this blog through facebook, I can’t write about any of the dates because broadcasting a terrible date to the entire Minneapolis gay community3 is just tacky. Besides, my BFF and I would have nothing to dish about when we hang out.

So I don’t write a lot about work because I am professional and I don’t write a lot about dates because I am classy, (and don’t want to get cut.) Hopefully that explains things!


1 Remember, my personal motto is “I have a good disposition” and I mean it.
2 Yes, that actually happened. I was mortified.
3 Lot of facebook friends… have the entire community covered through at least one person.

If you have any questions to add to my forth-coming FAQ page please send them to @dennisjansen.

May 17th, 2010

Why I hate being a single gay man on facebook.

Everytime I sign into facebook I see a combination of the same trashy ads. Continue reading “Why I hate being a single gay man on facebook.” »

February 24th, 2010

Not Quite Overshare: Foursquare, Twitter, and Facebook

Explaining social media tools to someone who doesn’t use them is always awkward, but I’ll try anyway.

Social Media

I use social media tools to make my life easier. This is how that works:

The blog:

  • Getting connected: The blog is a quick and easy way to introduce myself to peers, coworkers, others in the Twin Cities, and worldwide.
  • Staying connected: The blog allows friends and family to catch up on my life on their time. It is less jarring and harassing than a phone call or the pain of “scheduling coffee” with people who I don’t see as often. The blog also cuts the mundane, preliminary “what’s going on with you lately?” portion of conversations and allows us to jump into deeper topics…sort of like doing the reading before class.
  • A resource: Blogs are the new autobiographies and how-to books. I had very few surprises during my first year of law school because I read law school student blogs  (such as this one, this one, and this one) and their advice was far more valuable than any “how to” book on law school that I wasted my money on. The experiences I write about help others considering going to law school, becoming a resident assistant, dog owner, blog author, etc.
  • PR & Journaling: The blog allows me to chronicle my experience and curtail rumors about major events by allowing people to read my account of a situation and form their own opinion. It’s like a constant interactive press conference, minus the vicious reporters and “oh shit” looks.

Twitter: Twitter lets me instantly connect with friends, professionals, and others. Twitter is less harassing and time consuming than an IM conversation, and a great way to meet new people, especially other law students and lawyers.

There is a lot of noise on twitter that I don’t subscribe to. I don’t follow people who only retweet news stories, stock prices, quotes, or “deals” that no one cares about. It’s like subscribing to junk mail. And to that I say, Bitch, boo, bye.”

Twitter, is not (for me at least) a popularity contest to find the most followers. The important part about twitter is connecting with real people. And if I also happen to get a coupon from a local pizza place then that’s just an amazing bonus…

Foursquare: The ultimate way to connect with locals. Foursquare uses my phone’s GPS to locate me and attaches that location to my tweets.

Foursquare also tells me who else is at my location and has allowed me to connect with coworkers and neighbors who I would otherwise not have met. There has been a recent stink over privacy concerns, but it’s simple to give the address of a nearby park or public place when you’re at a friend’s house or at home.

If someone was really going to rob you or stalk you, they would (and could) do it without the assistance of Foursquare. This is why the new Taser X3 is super affordable and comes in cute “fashion colors.”

Facebook: Where it all comes together. Chances are that you are reading this post on facebook, or have become my facebook friend after running into me on Foursquare or Twitter.

My facebook account is constantly updated with posts from my blog, Foursquare, and Twitter. This is incredibly convenient because people just have to look at my facebook page to see where I am, and what I’m up to.

Giving my friends this information makes my life easier because my friends know when I am available. The running-updated schedule makes people more likely to respect my time and less likely to pester me when I’m busy. The updates are also conversation starters and invitations for my neighbors to join me at local cafes and bars if they are in the area.

My social media connectivity never feels like a “big brother” or exhibitionist situation because all of these applications require an affirmative action to update. This makes a true, unintended, overshare uncommon. Which is why you won’t know if I’m constipated at a rat-infested 7-Eleven restroom unless I post it (which I won’t, don’t worry.)

My life is made easier by sharing more information rather than less. I got used to living in the proverbial fishbowl as a resident assistant in undergrad, and living in the fishbowl is rather comfortable.

I share what I want to, and I find that perpetual connection with others is far better to being out of the loop.

June 12th, 2009

Facebook fail

The highlight of my evening was that facebook allowed the registeration of username shortcuts at 11pm.

So of course “Jansen” was taken by some Asian dude.1 And for whatever reason “Dennis” was unavailable, but you can catch me at http://www.facebook.com/dennisjansen. Original. I know.

Add me, eat, and be merry.


1 “Jansen” is a common Asian first-name. Don’t ask me why.

April 5th, 2009

Best Week Ever #10 & 11: Big Fun.

I spent the past two weeks toting around my big-honking golf umbrella, printing out offensive amounts of paper in the library, and screaming along to “Big Fun” in my car.

Week #10 was a lopsided week because my Thursday-Friday class was moved to Tuesday and Wednesday. This meant that on that Wednesday I had all of my classes1 including legal writing.

For Wednesday, we had abnormally large reading assignments for CivPro and Corporations, and of course, that was the day that spring briefs were due.

So most of the class spoke in grunts and scowled at anyone who was insufferably cheery. Grr.2

I was up most of Tuesday evening and went to bed immediately after school on Wednesday. I pretty sure I flew home. I slept for about 15 hours. It was amazing. I smile every time I think about it.

I spent Thursday, Friday, and Saturday at work, making up hours that I didn’t put in at the beginning of the week.

That weekend Stella and I went to the 90’s and watched the drag shows. Nina D’Angelo came out in a fat suit and gave a Cher performance. Stella and I were seated in the audience. Obese Cher got off the stage and sat on our laps. Yes, it was a hot mess. And yes, there’s video footage.

When Stella and I got home we saw that some of our housemates had trashed the living room and kitchen:

We were NOT amused.3 Lets forget that happened. Ugh.

Week #11 started with my first oral argument. My opponent and I had the same concept of the assignment, so there was no bloodletting or surprises. It was a fun experience, although I somehow managed to wear a blue-black suit top with my very-black slacks. This is how I get my reputation for keeping it classy…4

Last Monday’s oral argument was our “practice” argument. The real one is next week, and my suit will match. I promise.

This past week was somewhat unproductive because I violated the sanctity of my sleep schedule. If I miss even a few hours of sleep, I get into a zombie-like state after 5pm. Lack of sleep is a self-perpetuating thing because when I am tired I am more likely to stay up unnecessarily instead of going to bed…which means I’m tired the next day and…yeah.

I reconciled with my bed this weekend. A full 8-hours is non-negotiable for the next few weeks.

No.634 received some humble buzz during the last two weeks:


1 8am – Legal Writing, 9am Civpro, 11am Corps, 1:25 Crimlaw, 2:20 Property. 4pm – a comfort McFlurry then bed time.

2Crabby to put it mildly. Half of us couldn’t make eye contact with the obnoxious guy from Crimlaw. I’m surprised that no one raised their hand and ask for a gag order: “CAN WE JUST HAVE HIM NOT TALK FOR ONE CLASS PERIOD?”

3 The mess wasn’t completely cleaned up for a few days. This was the topic of much griping around the house. It was an interesting social study too. Turns out that mostly the minorities and women in the house were pissed off about it. Some of us noted that…

4 If that wasn’t bad enough, the suit jacket and pants had two different types of pinstripes! My room wasn’t well lit enough for me to catch the mistake before I got to school. (Yes. I literally got dressed in the dark…)It was one of those fashion mistakes that wasn’t glaring, but really irks everyone who notices it. But given how many students have no concept of appropriate formal wear, it wasn’t a big deal.

4 Yes, I know I just said “when I’m tired, I stay up.” That may sound stupid, but it’s true. I stay up so late because I’m vegging in front of a computer or book…

January 26th, 2009

Boo Facebook

I’m not sure if facebook chat is sucking, or if it’s the school internet…

January 25th, 2009

Facebook = news service?

It looks like facebook has just become a news service. There’s a public photo album* of a UN school bombed by Israelis.

Here is a video via Al Jazeera.


* Warning there are some pictures of dead school children.

December 13th, 2008

On Twitter, Tumblr, and Microblogging

Most people at my law school have facebook. Very few law students use twitter, tumblr, or a maintain a blog.

I’ve tried to explain twitter to other law students and they think it’s absurd. But now I have the New York Times on my side. Think of Twitter as Facebook status updates taken to the next level: Continue reading “On Twitter, Tumblr, and Microblogging” »

December 1st, 2008

Fall Photo Dump!

There’s snow on the ground. That means that my fall pictures are no longer current, so I threw all of the semester’s left over pictures on facebook.

FB-Friends: sorry for clogging your newsfeed, but seriously, you should expect that from me by now…blame RSS.

For those of you who aren’t my facebook friends, here are some of the galleries:


University of Minnesota! Full set is here


Minneapolis IV. Full set is here

Other Minneapolis sets:


Minnesota Winter pictures! ..the new set is here