A few minutes into my Conflicts class we heard a ringing sound from the hallway. Jill sits by the door, which has a window to the hallway:
Professor V: “What is that ringing sound?” Jill: “I think it’s coming from the hallway.” Professor V: “Hm.” Jill (opening door): “It’s coming from out here, but I’m not sure what it is. Carbon Monoxide?” Jack: “Is that a fire alarm?” Professor V: “Probably not. Jill, let us know if you see flames.” Jill: “Will do!”
A little Carbon Monoxide isn’t going to interrupt Conflicts.
The end is near! This past week was the week of changes and drama. Finals are creeping closer and so is the law review petition…
Oh and classes are still going on apparently. Most of my section has become impatient with classes. Here’s a rundown:
Crimlaw is a waste of time. Even the “nice” girl has stopped reading Crimlaw and simply outlines during class. We can tell that our professor is extremely knowledgeable, but he is a thoroughly inept teacher. Our professor is also late for almost every class. What the hey?The whole Crimlaw experience is exacerbated by Billy Scratch N’Sniff. Scratch N’Sniff (SNS) is a boy from the other section who spends the entire class periodscratching his nether regions. Yes, even during the double-session we had on rape. Actually, the sex crime topic prompted an unusual amount of participation from SNS…it was bizarre. And yes, he was scratching as he opined about rape. The horror…
Corporations has really picked up. Several of my friends refused to take corporations because of Professor M’s verbal ticks1 but the professor has really relaxed and the stuttering has almost disappeared. The class is usually amusing, with Professor M taking plenty of pot-shots at the Delaware courts. I love it.
Property is a death march. I really like the subject but the class has become tedious. Professor P has a stiff, mechanical style and is relentless when questioning students.It’s really painful to watch. When a student doesn’t know the answer to a question, Professor P simply repeats the question. Over, and over. Have you ever seen two kids do that, “Yeah-huh, nuh-uh, yeah-huh” bit? That’s how questioning feels in Property. Today’s class was especially brutal. please let it be over soon…
But there is always Civil Procedure. I have been preaching the gospel of Professor V since last semester, but most of the section hasn’t come around until this semester. Professor V is the best professor ever and has amazing powerpoints. Today’s slides started with a Yogi Berra quote. Past classes have featured Diana Ross and Anna Nicole. I love it…although we’ve spent so much time on Erie/Hanna analysis that it better be on the exam…
On Thursday I was the distraught 1L in computer services when my laptop suggested that OneNote had deleted ALL OF MY NOTES. Yeah. I was almost the kid howling “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” in the study carrels. My laptop then proceeded to do this:
Unacceptable. Everything turned out alright, but I could have done without the 20 minutes of remmidemmi…
Things in the Gamma house have deteriorated ever since the trashing. The housemates are divided into two camps. People are pissed off and it is getting hard to be civil to Slovenly Housemate.
I tried really hard to be accommodating. But I’ve had to walk over too many beer bottles, pizza boxes, and Coke Zero cans. Slovenly’s friends are also annoying people and over WAY too much.
Charity stops here. I’m pissed off.2
There is going to be a contested election for house president within the next two weeks, but I’m done. I’m moving out after finals. I refuse to live in filth.
I visited an apartment building today that I’m probably going to move into. There were two apartments for rent. The first unit was a dank place on the bottom floor that rents for $575, and the second unit was a huge place on the top floor that rents for $650 a month.
The problem is that the huge apartment is…well, huge. Like, “I entertain” huge.
I’m negotiating a lease right now. We’ll see how it goes.
The building allows dogs, which is crucial. I need a canine running partner.
I arrived for the apartment showing a bit early so I stood outside of the building while talking on the phone. While I was on the phone, a lady left the apartment building with two small dogs.
I was on the phone with Jack and mentioned that the humane society has a lot of pitbulls on its website. My main concern is that a formerly abused pitbull is going to have a flashback and rip my throat out in my sleep. EXTRA: MINNEAPOLIS LAW STUDENT MAULED TO DEATH. DUMBASS ADOPTED AN ABUSED VICIOUS DOG.
Of course potential-neighbor-lady overheard this and started writing down websites where I can find non-throat-ripping dogs. She then detailed the various substance abuse3 problems of the tenants. It looks like it’s going to be an interesting experience…
This was definitely the week of changes. In addition to the apartment hunt, I gave up Splenda and started running because I signed up for a marathon. The marathon is in October, but I’m training now. My first run was 3 miles. The next morning I was so sore that I thought “OH MY GOD I BROKE MYSELF!”
I bitched at myself for a good half hour before I went back and ran 6 miles. The 6 miles were not as painful as I expected. Running is a great people-watching opportunity. The funniest thing I saw was a gay guy walking a pair of chihuahuas.
How do I know he was gay? Well, besides the Juicy Couture sweatpants he was wearing… there was also the fact that his DOGS were sporting pink camouflage hoodies.Diva please.
I had two “Diva Please” moments at bars this week because I was mistaken for a 32 year-old TWICE.
I’m actually 22. I think it’s the beard that does it.
Ah well. Age is overrated, as Sloven Housemate has proven…
1 Professor M used to string together “uh, uh, um, ers” … he never went over six in a row though. Yes, we counted.
2 I refuse to lecture someone who is OLDER THAN ME about “how NOT to be the dirty irritating housemate.” If you haven’t learned how to respect your peers by college, then you have some deep character flaw that’s not getting fixed any time before your wife serves divorce papers on you…
It is Alternative Dispute Resolution week in Civil Procedure.1 Although Professor V has a lot of ADR experience, she has brought in a guest mediator for our in-class ADR simulation. The mediator specializes in employment law, specifically discrimination and sexual harassment.2
The mediator blindsided our “mock attorneys” by quizzing them about the hypo’s fact pattern during an impromptu “scheduling-call simulation.”
The mediator basically said, “Okay, I’m going to pretend to call you guys now. Be prepared to answer questions. Hello? Is this the attorney for the plaintiff? What are the important issues here?”
I was mortified for my classmates, but it wasn’t that bad.
After the “scheduling-call” Jill asked a question:
Jill: “Why do the attorneys in ADR become so entangled and angry at each other? I mean at the end of the day, it should just be a job…” Mediator: “Well, keep that in mind! Attorneys are just as subject to unmanageable conflicts as anyone else!”
The full ADR simulation is next week. It should be amusing…
1 ADR includes among other things, arbitration and mediation. ADR is a way to solve problems without the cost of a full out court battle. 2 Which is part of our hypo.
The topic was ‘the evolution of federal question jurisdiction’:
Prof V: It’s hard to remember that before 1875, the Federal Government had a very limited role, especially today when the government is taking over banks and the entire economy…
There’s an interesting series of posts over at Kootoyoo1 called “My Creative Space.” Kristy takes a picture of her creative space every Thursday.
I couldn’t commit to Thursdays, nor creativity…but I did take a few snaps of my study spaces over the past week.
This disaster is in the “computer lab” area of the law library:
The “computer lab” is really a series of study carrels. I think there were computers there at one point, before they forced everyone to buy overpriced laptops. And yes, that’s 100% Cacao. Delicious.
Professor V just pointed out a funny footnote in a Burger King personal jurisdiction case1.
Complaining that “when Burger King is the plaintiff, you won’t ‘have it your way’ because it sues all franchisees in Miami,” Brief for Appellee 19, Rudzewicz contends that Florida’s interest in providing a convenient forum is negligible given the company’s size and ability to conduct litigation anywhere in the country. We disagree. Absent compelling considerations, a defendant who has purposefully derived commercial benefit from his affiliations in a forum may not defeat jurisdiction there simply because of his adversary’s greater net wealth.
1Burger King Corp. v. Rudzewicz, 471 U.S. 462 (U.S. 1985)
I mentioned that this semester feels busier. That was an understatement. Comparing first semester to second semester is like comparing Enya to a Revlon Ball.
My classes this semester are hilarious. Here’s a rundown:
Property: Even compared with the other UMN faculty, Professor P has a monster CV. I was expecting a reincarnation of Ben Stein inBueller’s Day Off1, and was pleasant surprised. Professor P is formal, but not boring.
Property is an extremely practical course. I now know what my obligations are if I find something valuable, and how to successfully capture any foxes (or bats) that I might come across…
The reading is interesting so far, but we start Estates and Future Interests this week. Our SSG has made several dark references to Future Interests, so we’ll see if my enthusiasm survives the week…
Civil Procedure: Civpro never disappoints. On Wednesday the law school’s auditorium was turned into a court room for a motion hearing. The case2 involves a pastor who came to Minnesota for a religious conference. The pastor dumped pipe ashes into a pot on his friend’s deck. The ashes started a fire that burnt down the friend’s house.
The angry homeowner was present Wednesday and sat next to one of my housemates. The awkwardness was delicious.
The losses calculated by the homeowner were creative. The plaintiff priced his used mid-90’s model cars using 2008 models. The plaintiffs also wanted compensation for a lost job and wages3 at $320/hour for the husband, and $125/hour for his retired wife.
The judge questioned the compensation:
Judge: “One of the arguments was that the loss of job isn’t compensable under Minnesota Law. Do you think the jury could connect the fire with the loss of a job?” Attorney: “You’re speaking to a defense attorney your honor, so my answer is absolutely not!But consider the source…”
Corporations: The reading for this course is a bit bizarre. Each assignment starts with what is essentially definitions in paragraph form. “Shareholders do this. A proxy contest is this. Etc.” After five pages of definitions comes the case, which is usually a scandalous hot mess (porn emails, sexual assaults, swearing, swindlers…etc.)Continue reading “Best Week Ever #5: disease, fees, and fart machines.” »
At UMN Law we have optional supplementary courses called “structured study groups” (SSG). The courses are taught by 2Ls and 3Ls.
Today our SSG instructor for Civil Procedure asked:
SSG Instructor: “You guys haven’t had multifactor balancing tests yet right?” Jill: “Yeah, in legal writing last semester, but that was a disaster too…”
* The topic is personal jurisdiction balancing tests.
Everything is funny right now. I might be delusional from my 7-hour fees committee meeting and two hours of Civil Procedure reading…but I suspect not.
What’s so funny? Well, Stella and I are at the Purple Onion Cafe, and the guy in line at the register is saying this to his female friend (verbatim):
Guy in Line: “Do you just not shower? Is that how your hair gets so nice? It’s cute. I think it’s cute. IT’S CUTE!”
I snicker about this and then read the following hypo in my book:
“Would it have made a difference if the product that exploded had been a toaster that the defendant also manufactured and distributed only in the Northeast?”
I think things have reached that point where it’s best to close the book and walk away…
I know I’m in trouble when my CivPro book tells me a chapter is dull…
“Nevertheless jurisdiction has continued to plague lawyers, judges and law students. Many, no doubt, would agree with the judge who observed that “the legal issues raised in these cases are rather dull. If Judge Wapner had to worry about personal jurisdiction, ‘The People’s Court’ would not be on television.”
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