There is a scene in the latest SAW movie where a lawyer finds out that the key to save her is in the stomach of another person.

The lawyer takes a circular saw and immediately tries to slice the guy’s stomach open to get the key. Screaming and chaos ensue.

During that scene I turned to Joel and whispered, “THAT is law school.”

And it’s true. The size of the saw depends on the intensity of the curve. Vrrrm! Bitches!

The last two weeks have been the most irritating academic weeks of my life. I am tired, mortified, and annoyed. Sing it with me now!

I am always amused when I write these “Best Week Ever” week-in-review posts for difficult weeks.The chipper title is based on the premise that there is no such thing as a bad day.¹ Yes, my name is Pollyanna and I am here to rock.

The “Best Week Ever” title is basically a reminder, before I begin writing about an awful week, that things are not  so awful, and that I should keep the bitching to a minimum and focus on the amusing things.

And amusing things did happen….really…week 9 started with a Tax law midterm. All the studying I did for the midterm was an utter waste of time and my answers were as eloquent as Miss Teen South Carolina:

“Um, capital gains, and the Iraq and all the little expenditure children…and stuff. That’s hot. And so totally deductible!”

After the epic fail Tax exam I turned around and finished my moot court brief.² I worked on the brief at Dunn Brothers and there was a dramatic scene with a racist homeless guy who did not notice the four black people in the cafe. Screaming, N-bombs, and hilarity. The awkwardness was amazing.

I also officially started dating Joel.³ One night Joel turned to me and said,

Joel: “Um, we’ve been dating for five weeks now, and I was just wondering where this is going?”
Me: “Five weeks? What? Law school has me in a time warp…where am I? What year is it?”
Joel: “So I was wondering what my facebook status should be…”
Me: “Whatever you’d like! Well, don’t you DARE put married until you put a ring on it…”
Joel: “Uh, okay…”
Me: “SILENCE! I am channeling Sasha Fierce! Watch the wind sway my hair and be dazzled by my funky fresh moves…Hootyhoo! Time to get back to the Tax regs…”

So we became official during the beginning of week 9, and last night I met his parents and brother.  Apparently I am the first boyfriend he has ever brought home to a formal dinner. Eek!⁴

No plates were thrown or shots fired, so I guess everything went well? Maybe?

Anyway, I survived the parental inspection, the tax midterm, and the moot court brief. Coming up next is: Finals!

And the 2L fun continues…

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¹ There is always something amusing happening and positive way to spin the worst disasters short of zombies taking over the earth.

² The problem with the timing of the brief was that it was due on Wednesday and I have four classes Tuesdays and Wednesdays which means I have at least 3-4 hours worth of reading to do on top of life.

And the fact that Modern Real Estate went from a fluffy review of property to a brutally complicated tour of mortgage rights…didn’t help.

³Must like dogs. Harley is absolutely in love with Joel because Joel will pet him for hours on end.

⁴ HOW HORRIFYING IS THAT?